In 2013, I got a new job at a consulting firm. It wasn’t a perfect fit, but I needed some consistent income. I dove in, worked hard, and took extra work on top of a long commute. The company hit some challenges in 2014, made some cuts, and I was on the cut list. This was new territory for me. I had been a solid or star performer in just about everything I had done my whole life. But this wasn’t my day.
I had worked at companies before that had had layoffs, and so I thought I knew what it was like. But beyond the self doubt and the self pity was the real problem. Instability. What would I do about income now? What about health insurance? What would be my next job or career? And so on.
Within a few days, though, it struck me like a bolt of lightning: I was never going to let anyone or any company do that to me again. No job and no company is worth my giving them the control to determine my financial stability at their convenience. I’m important enough, and my wife and family are important enough that I will stop at nothing to make sure we are ok.
With the massive student loans and business debt from years earlier, we had gotten so far behind that even two incomes was not enough to make up ground. My financial adviser had clarified that we needed to save at least $2000 per month for the rest of our careers to get to a “higher probability of successful retirement.” We were going backwards with negative cash flow. Another “decent” salary was not going to cut it.
That’s when I understood the most important tool for creating my future: responsibility. I did not know how I was going to create the income, the stability, or the wealth we needed, but my switch had flipped. I was taking full responsibility, I would stop hoping for a miracle, and I would create my own success.
Two Ends of the Stick
Taking responsibility doesn’t mean that I automatically knew the right answers. It meant that I would relentlessly seek better answers and put real action into them. The first better answer was to stop staring at the dead ends. I knew I had to explore outside the paths I knew. I picked up responsibility, but the other end of the stick was to explore and implement.
My first better answer was to get into real estate investing. I knew a little after owning a duplex in Chicago for several years. I believed the real estate avenue would break us free from the linear trajectory of a salary. There was some truth to that, though not for the reasons I believed at the time.
I knew enough not to jump in too big, too fast, but I also knew my personal patterns of being so careful I never made it happen. I started going to investor meetings, seminars, and webinars, and I read every book and ebook I could find, and I listened to podcasts for hours and hours every time I got in the car. All to immerse myself in everything to do with real estate, making investments, being a flipper, being a landlord, being a lender - everything.
Even with all this new knowledge, I was still afraid. If I made a stupid mistake, I could lose a lot of money when we didn’t have money to lose. I thought the best step forward to succeed in spite of this fear would be to buy a mentorship and have an expert by my side. So I did, and I learned how to flip houses. I viewed hundreds of real houses for months, learned how to estimate rehab costs, evaluate investments, assess risks, build extraordinary spreadsheets, and finally I got the courage to buy a house, fix it up, and sell it. And that was WITH a mentor.
I’d love to tell you that a real estate mentor was the one switch that made all the difference, but it wasn’t. And it wasn’t partnerships. Or rentals. Or wholesaling. Or apartments. Or storage units. Or lending. Or borrowing. Or self-directed IRAs and 401ks, and on and on. Every single one of these ideas works for some people but not for others. How can that be?
The Personal Wealth Building Dynamic
Here’s my theory:
Your wealth building capacity is the dynamic among three evolving dimensions:
The outer world of growing wealth with assets, income, opportunities, risks and so many investment types and tools.
Your abilities for choosing opportunities and taking effective action to make those opportunities work for you.
Your ability and commitment to work on your Inner Game to transform and improve your decision and action excellence.
Real estate was an important venue for my wealth building, but it was also where I made a lot of mistakes, including a few that cost me 6 figures. Nothing is foolproof except the will and skill to get better at finding a path that works for you and following it the best you can.
I believe your work on your Inner Game will lead you out of the Financial Hall of Mirrors and to a path you create for yourself toward the Wealth Building Capacity you want. There is no single perfect answer except to take responsibility. Then find a path that’s better than one keeping you stuck, and follow that path and never stop learning so you can adapt along the way.
My purpose is to be a model and guide for the work you do on your Inner Game so you can grow your Wealth Building Capacity.
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